Want To Jumpstart Your Relationship? Here's One Easy Way

Posted On: Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Marriage counseling or couples therapy is often about the things that are wrong in our relationships. In my private practice in Boca Raton, Florida, it's not very often that couples come to therapy to talk about the things that are right in their marriages. Unfortunately, we are a deficit-driven society. We think more about the things that are not there, rather than the things that are.

Have you ever wondered why we do this? The short answer is perception. Two people can do or say the same things and yet have very different experiences. When we believe that our partners must think and behave exactly as we do -- and that when they don't that in some way signals that he or she doesn't care, this can create conflict and disconnection.

Even given the fact that you may experience differences in perception, awareness of the positive things in your relationship -- or being grateful or in gratitude to each other -- is one of the most important ways to achieve connection and contentment. When you are grateful for even the tiniest things that are good in your relationship, you form a deeper connection with each other.

Taking the time to be more aware of the gratitude you feel for the relationship and one another shifts your inner conversation to the good things; and in turn you begin to feel more grateful and notice more of the positives.

Said quite simply, when you are grateful you feel more connected, more aware and more in love.

Take the time each day to focus on the things that you love and appreciate about each other. Even in those darkest and most challenging times, think back to what caused you to fall in love in the first place. Make gratitude an active part of your day, not just a concept. It takes practice, practice, and more practice! But ultimately, being more grateful in your relationship can be transformative. In the end, it will feel like a gift you give to yourself, as you will find a new way -- a more meaningful way -- of being in a relationship, as you notice more peace and joyfulness.

Dr. Laura Richter is a licensed Marriage and Family therapist who works with individuals, couples, and families. Her specialties include: surviving infidelity, improving communication, beginning again after divorce and effective co-parenting after divorce. She is also a trained mediator, qualified parenting coordinator and collaborative law mental health professional. For more information, please call or text us today at 561-715-6404 to schedule a consultation to see how we can help.