IntroductionFrom the moment our children are born, we wear our hearts on the outside of our chests. We feel happy, sad, vulnerable and afraid, and sometimes all at the same time!
There is no greater bond than Mother and child. No one prepares us for what to expect. In honor of Mother's Day, I would like to share what I have come to know as a mother and what others have shared with me.
Perhaps you wake each morning with self-doubt, but move through your day with courage and grace. But when your three year-old wraps her tiny arms around you and gives you a hug, all doubt melts away.
You hope that they know how much you love them and would do anything for them. Maybe you aim for perfection, but fall short every day. That's the way it is. Accept that being a mother can be messy and chaotic at times. Somehow our children survive and even thrive.
You listen attentively to a conversation your child is having with another child and you hear them echoing lessons that you have attempted to impart on them. You smile from ear to ear knowing that they really do listen at times. They listen to the good stuff you say as well as the not so good. Be mindful of choosing your words carefully.
Sometimes you focus on what they are doing wrong rather than the things they do well. That's because you don't want them to make the same mistakes that you made and you want the world to love them and appreciate their brilliance as much as you do. But if you focus on what they do well, they will strive to do better. Compliments are much more fun to hear than criticism.
Remember that children are blessings -- little miracles -- that enter and grace our lives. Our children are meant to know their own journey. We are here to help light their way. Honor and celebrate their uniqueness. Admire and embrace their differences. There is no such thing as a defiant child, only one who's misunderstood.
You are as fierce as a lioness and gentle as a lamb. You lose your temper at times and wonder how the hell they do some of the things they do. And then you spend the next three hours judging yourself for being so intolerant. Sometimes you can't wait until its time for them to go to bed, but then in the middle of the night you find great comfort in watching them sleep. You promise yourself and pray that tomorrow you will have more patience.
Tomorrow you will listen to them, be grateful for them and enjoy the gift of having this time with them. Some days you triumph and some days you don't.
But most importantly, you know deep in your soul that no one can love them the way you do and no one can comfort them the way you can and no one knows what they need better than you. You are Mom and you always will be.
Dr. Laura Richter is a licensed Marriage and Family therapist who works with individuals, couples, and families. Her specialties include: surviving infidelity, improving communication, beginning again after divorce and effective co-parenting after divorce. She is also a trained mediator, qualified parenting coordinator and collaborative law mental health professional. For more information, please call or text us today at 561-715-6404 to schedule a consultation to see how we can help.